From the Pit to the Palace and the Emotional Journey too!

by Cyndilu Miller on September 5, 2014

in Life Design by Cyndilu, Spiritual Thoughts and Choices

FromthePittothePalace

These are thoughts and reflections – so punctuation was not my focus. Grace requested as you read please…

I am more and more realizing that we really only have control over our attitudes – how we think about things – what we focus on… but sometimes it does not ‘feel’ like we have control over anything… at least this is the way I feel… I know it may be different for you… so I speak only for me own self here.

Waves of emotion can make me feel out of control.

When the floods of emotions come I feel out of control… lost and floating in my own pain and frustration… like I have been robbed of my ability to even function… and while that may be true it is only when I go to the truth and speak that over my life that I find myself being pulled up out of the pit of despair… I used to live there daily – I am beginning to realize that is why it hurts me so when I see others going through it… I have been in that pit… and IT SUCKS!!!!! so much!!! so much pain!!! so much darkness!!! So much hurt!!! so much hopelessness!!! Not feeling like there is a way out! – Then I like Joseph get out of the pit —- and for what??? to be sold into SLAVERY! Wow!!! Now that is certainly a different season but its not the one I would have wanted…. oh my goodness! NO – not at all… definitely another season of feeling out of control, held down, shackled and unable to move, lorded over, and so much more!!! Wow! Then into a great season – feeling like I am there – I have arrived I am working in a great house and serving a wonderful master and feeling like life is finally getting better…

Just when I think life is sorted and I am doing ok.

BOOM/BAM – accused wrongly or mistreated, whether that is from sexual abuse or giving myself over cause I don’t really down deep feel worthy or who knows what!! Anyway, here I am thinking this season will last forever, on top of the mountain and BAM!!! Down again and into prison this time… Surrounded by bars, boxed in, unable to freely walk and go where I want, at the mercy of others for the needs of my life. Guarded with every move being watched – feeling like I will never get out of this, that I am forever going to be locked away and my true talents being wasted…

I keep on being me…

I keep on being me within the prison walls, giving of myself, my gifts and my love to all that I meet and see each day. Those who receive from me act and say that they respect me, and are grateful for my gifts to help them… the one thing that I ask for them to do it to remember me and share with others my goodness to them – remember what I did for them and share what I can do for others… When they get out of prison – do they remember? do they help to get me out of the prison I am in? NO! They go about their lives free as can be for years!!! So here I am, still in jail and thinking I will be there forever, I mean after all I have been here for a long time now – for years!!!

Just when you think you are stuck forever…

I am thinking today is just like any other day – but the TRUTH is — I have a FRIEND and HE does stick CLOSER than a BROTHER and HE is/was with me in the PIT, and HE is/was with me in the SLAVERY, and HE is/was with me in the Early Seasons of Small Victories, and HE is/was with me in the PRISON, and HE is/with me in my dreams! HE has NOT let go of them or of WHO HE created ME to BE!!! HE is WORKING on my behalf – reminding those that have experienced my gifts before that I am here… and ONE DAY I will be in PRISON and the NEXT DAY I will be FREE! Moved into place where not only will NO DOOR be SHUT for me, I will also BE the GIFT that will GIVE others LIFE!!!

ALL that I have lived through is for a PURPOSE!

ALL the PAIN will be worth it in the end… others will be SAVED because I am willing to keep going, to keep on SHARING the DREAMS that no matter where I am keep coming to me! Today may not be your last day of the season you are in BUT it also may be, so don’t give up for THIS may be the DAY that GOD DELIVERS you from your enemies (and that can include the enemies that live in your own head…) KNOW this there WILL be a DAY that YOU are WALKING out through those PRISON doors for the very last time!!! AND THIS may be THAT DAY when your dreams do come true!

 

Cyndilu150Brickwall

 

Cyndilu Sharing Life through…
Sing-Speak, Photography, Writing, and ASEA!
You can connect with her on facebook at
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Lisa January 30, 2015

wow, Cyndilu. I am speechless. Truly. It hit me so hard in the heart. I could have written that myself, although I didnt:) That was PERFECT. I have walked this walk and understood each valley, and the HOPE things would get better than WHAM, and then being in prison, and then people forgetting about you….and I have only been chatting with a few select souls in prison. Trying to keep going, trying to keep serving. But so dark. Now is the time, today, is the ultimate day of my release. And I will CONTINUE TO SERVE GOD in all capacities and places He puts me in. Today is the day I am released from my cares, worries, and woes. Today is the day I step into My future and away from my past. Today is the day I start my mission to SERVE others in the darkness and deliver NATIONS. God has saved me for such a time as this. I BELIEVE. In Christ’s name, AMEN.

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Cyndilu Miller January 30, 2015

Wow! Thank you!!! I had no idea when I re-posted it the impact it would have on so many! Thank you for sharing your heart here and we stand with you in your new found freedom too! As you are standing remember the winds may blow but they will swirl around and not cause damage for you are standing on the ROCK! Amen!

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Lisa January 30, 2015

You’re welcome. My pleasure. Thanks for staying with me and being one of the few to understand and be with me in my challenges. Love you

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